#FeministFriday Weekly Roundup

Ugh, ya'll. Where to begin. I feel like this week was heavy with feminist news, which can be good, and bad. First, there's the GOP Hot Mess Debate, the media's passive and dismissive reporting of domestic violence, women not gettin' paid, you know, the usual. But let's start on a high note, I guess.

So Move to End Violence is a NoVo Foundation-funded movement that focuses on supporting the people who are working to end violence against women and girls. I've heard several of their "Movement Makers" speak at various conferences and events including Nan Stoops from the Washington DV coalition and Kelly Miller from the Idaho coalition, and both of them were exceptionally engaging and thought-provoking. Anyway, I'm on Move's listserv, and yesterday their email blast challenged us all to take their "Self-Care Challenge." Now, self care is a big buzzword right now in the victim services field, and there's so many different ways that individuals take care of themselves. Self care is something that I say I practice, but in reality I'm really quite terrible at it. So yea, I think I'm gonna take this challenge, thankyouverymuch. Check in with me at the end of the challenge and we'll see what kind of a difference it made :)

Next up, I guess I have to address the #GOPDebate this week. Or, as I like to call it #ShitShowOnCNN. Highlights include Trump's racist remarks. And no, I'm not talking about this instance. Or this one. Or, this, though all of those are noteworthy. I'm talking about the new remarks on Wednesday night when he said that he "couldn't be expected to recognize Arab name after Arab name." Sigh. Not only is that just downright racist, it's shit foreign policy. This, on the same day that a young Muslim boy was handcuffed, arrested, and suspended from school for bringing a homemade clock, thought to be a bomb. At least President Obama had something nice to say to the poor kid. Other significant moments of the debate: Carly Fiorina slammed Donald Trump after his comment about her looks, Jeb Bush defends his brother saying that he kept us safe (umm...forgetting 9/11...), and the vast majority of the candidates on stage having no great idea on which woman to put on the $10 bill.

Moving on...a new report came out this week from the Institute for Women's Policy Research that says women will not see equal pay with men until 2059, one year longer than previously projected. I'm not sure what to be most shocked about, that it's going to be 2059, or that it's even longer than everyone expected. It reminds me of that episode of The West Wing when Ainsley and Sam were debating the Equal Rights Amendment:

Also, let's be clear: white women are paid on average 78-80 cents to every dollar a man earns. For women of color, that gap is even wider, all the way down to about 56 cents.

Next up on the list: domestic violence. There have been several articles in the past few weeks calling out the media's portrayal of gender violence. News outlets are calling them mass shootings, shooting sprees, incidents, love triangles gone wrong, and even road rage "accidents." Let's get something straight, ya'll, these are instances of domestic violence. This "love triangle" gone wrong was actually a professor ruthlessly murdering his ex-partner, as well as another professor. That "incident" was actually a man shooting a woman after weeks of stalking her, after she tried twice to get a restraining order, and twice she was denied. And that "road rage accident" was a woman who begged police for help and was denied, only to be brutally murdered by her ex partner. Clementine Ford says it well in her article "The passive language used in reporting to disguise domestic violence"

"Tara Brown was victimised by an abusive ex-partner. She sought help from Gold Coast police less than a week before her murder but was turned away. She was the victim of a system which still too frequently ignores domestic violence and marginalises the people (who are most often women and children) who live with it. Witnesses describe seeing her ex-partner chase her in a vehicle, run her off the road and then proceed to bash her already damaged body with a scrap of metal. This was a moment of extreme brutality and horror. 

And yet, after Tara Brown died in hospital, how did news outlets and police choose to report her passing? By variously describing it as the result of a "road rage incident" or a "traffic accident" - as if she had taken the wrong turn one morning, cut the wrong person off and thus stumbled into a completely random situation of unexplainable, unpredictable violence."

Jessica Valenti also wrote a really great piece on this issue this week, saying:

But when the media reports on these killings as standard shootings, or - as they do frequently - say that a killer “snapped”, they are sending the message that there is nothing that could have been done to stop these tragedies. It’s lazy thinking that allows us throw our hands up and do nothing, even when there is so much still to do.

Also in #FeministFriday news, a great Everyday Feminism comic on racist football mascots, money for testing rape kits, Matt Damon mansplaining diversity to a woman of color (so white it hurts) and Shelby Mueller making me ashamed to be from Iowa.

That's all for now folks. I'm sure they'll be lots more news next week!

#FeministFriday Podcast you need in your life

I was never really into podcasts before moving to DC. I had tried to download some, but it never really stuck with me. Then I discovered these pesky little things called "public transportation" and "commutes" and I realized that my life would suck without podcasts. With a 40-minute bus ride in the morning and a 20-minute bike ride in the evening, these podcasts keep me sane.

Buzzfeed's Another Round 
I get SO EXCITED when I realize Tuesday morning as I'm leaving my apartment that there's going to be another episode from Heben and Tracy waiting for me. Another Round is like happy hour with friends cooler than your current friends. In just a few short months of existing, their podcast has covered race, gender, politics, mental health, hip hop, and squirrels.

The New Yorker's Political Scene

This podcast has been around for a few years, but I've only recently started listening to it. As a political nerd, I find this podcast fascinating. I really like how they go in-depth into one topic per week, and bring in great writers and editors to discuss the issues, most recently the GOP debate, Trump, immigration, abortion (although shame on them for having all-male contributors to this episode, come on!) the Iran Deal, and race relations in America.


Bitch Media's Popaganda & Backtalk 

So ya'll are getting a two-for-one deal here. Bitch Media has two podcasts per week, and both are killer. The first is Popaganda, a feminist response to pop culture. This hour-long podcast goes in-depth into topics or themes, like their Transformations episode where they had a story about an artist who's music slowly altered from "human to electronica," gender dynamics in the comic industry, and an interview with two transgender individuals growing up with very different experiences being trans. Backtalk is a podcast with Amy Lam and Sarah Mirk where they discuss big pop culture news of the week through a feminist lens, and then talk about something new they're reading, watching, and listening to, which is honestly where I get like 50% of my new recommendations.

PreventConnect

So this is kinda nerdy, but I'm a huge fan of CalCASA's PreventConnect podcasts. By CalCASA, I mean the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault, and by PreventConnect, I mean the project that does primary prevention of sexual and domestic violence. Again, nerdy, I know. But listening to activists and advocates in my field talk about issues that I work with everyday is refreshing and almost invigorating. There's so many awesome folks out there doing this work, and I want to hear from them all!


Obviously, there are so many more podcasts I'm loving right now, including Internet Explorer, The Read, This American Life, Freakonomics, and Stuff Mom Never Told You. I encourage you to check them all out!

Feminist Friday: Rape Jokes that are actually funny and not victim blamey and gross

So ya'll know my stance on rape jokes. They're horrible, problematic, re-traumatizing, offensive, and harmful. And also just not funny.

 "Quite honestly, it’s not even because I particularly find the jokes personally triggering anymore; I generally just find them pathetic and inexplicable. I’m more bothered by the fact that the jokes normalize and effectively minimize the severity of rape and thusly perpetuate the rape culture. And I’m bothered by the thought of a woman who’s recently been raped, who’s just experienced what may be the worst thing that will ever happen to her, and turns on the telly to watch her favorite comedian and have a much-needed laugh—only to hear him using that horrible, life-changing thing as the butt of a joke. About cologne. Or a bad movie. For fuck’s sake." Source

But I have come across two jokes that are funny. What makes them not gross and damaging like most rape jokes is that the butt of the joke isn't on the victim, it's on society, on the rapist.

Feminist Friday: Gender Gap Update

As 2014 starts, let's take a moment to look at how far we've come since the Equal Pay Act of 1963:

Not great. Now let's take a moment to look at the gender pay gape by race:

Awesome. Super. 

EVEN THE RICH WOMEN AREN'T SPARED. Gaaaaa

So, ladies and gentlemen, just remember:

Feminist Friday: Code switching & fetischizing the "black"

So in my Linguistic Anthropology class in college we talked about code switching, and I found it so interesting how words and phrases can migrate through cultures and how the meanings can change depending on who is saying it. Lately I've been noticing how white culture has been stealing and bastardizing and fetishizing (quote, unquote) *black* words and phrases. The evolution of language is natural, but it's really starting to bother me how much we're (we as in white, the majority, the privileged ones) are taking these words and phrases and making them ours.

"First they’ll criticize our slang. Make us seem uneducated for using it, when the reality is they’re mad we can code switch. Then they’ll use our slang mockingly. Like they really don’t want to use it, but it’s so absurd they can’t help themselves. Then they’ll make money off our slang, t-shirts, cups, bracelets, etc. Then they’ll convince us it was never really ours. It’s been public domain forever. Feel free to replace the word “Slang” with neighborhoods, and music too."

I have no idea who to attribute that to. I've been searching all over tumblr but I can't find the OP. Anyway, it sums up perfectly what I'm trying to say.

 

 Really, Miley? A rich white girl wearing a South Central Homies shirt?

 

This is just wrong ^ 

*Shudder*

And this. Teenage Runaway? Since when is that "cool"? Since when is our HUGE population of homeless youth a joke? Dear cute British pop star: It's not funny. Living on the streets is not something we need to promote as "in."


...end rant.

Feminst Friday: BITCH

So there's this thing, and it's amazing. It's called slam poetry and I've been in love with it for, oh, about since the very first time I heard about it. What makes slam poetry better? ADD FEMINISM! Just like bacon, adding feminism makes everything better. So check out this KICK ASS video.

Btw - the girl on the right? She goes to my alma mater. I'm kind of in awe. I wish I was that cool as a freshman.

Feminist Friday: MSA

So last week, a Lieutenant General Franklin was like, "Hey Air Force Pilot, so I know that you were convicted of aggravated sexual assault last November, but I'm gonna like ignore that and overturn the conviction using something called 'convening authority' and like, let you go free, cus I like, have the power to do that, or something."

A spokesperson for Franklinfuck said he "declined to approve the conviction because he did not think that there was enough evidence to say that he was guilty.” Even though 4 service-members convicted him...

This (rightfully) outraged some peeps in Congress. Senator McCaskill (D-MO) said:

"The military needs to understand that this could be a tipping point. I question whether, after this incident, there's any chance a woman assaulted in that unit would ever say a word. ... There's a culture issue that's going to have to be addressed here. And what this decision did - all it did was underline and put an exclamation point behind the notion that if you are sexually assaulted in the military - good luck." 

In a letter to the Air Force Secretary and chief of staff she said:

"His decision shows ignorance, at best, and malfeasance, at worst. I strongly urge you to undertake an immediate review of his conduct and consider removing him from his leadership position."

Ha. Haha. Right. Like that's ever gonna happen. 

Military justice for rape victims-you're doing it wrong.

So a few weeks back, I watched the award-winning documentary The Invisible War on Netflix. If you haven't watched it, you should. If you're in the military, you should watch it. If you're not in the military, you should watch it. Here's the trailer:

 So I watched it and was infuriated and heartbroken. So I took to Facebook:

So I realize that I just called the military broken. That's like not a little thing. But hey, guess what! RAPE IS NOT A LITTLE THING. So then a girl in my sorority commented:

 To which I responded:

The thing is, when I (and others) post stuff like this, immediately someone comments about how not everyone is bad. And this stuff happens everywhere, so you can't blame everyone. But I don't. I don't blame everyone. I only blame those that perpetrate the crimes and those who allow it to continue...which, apparently is like 70%. Yea, the rapists are at fault, but guess what - so are those who let this continue to happen, those who sweep it under the rug, those who defend the rapists and allow them to stay in the military and keep fucking raping people. So by trying to deflect and defend, you're only taking the focus away from the victims and the problem. Instead, why isn't your first reaction - "Wow! Rape! How awful! This is a problem! What can I do to help?" But let's be real, that's not gonna happen.

This documentary opened my eyes. I mean, I'm pretty aware of the sexual assault situation in this country. I worked at a sexual assault coalition. But jesus fuck is it so much worse in the military. We think victim-blaming is bad in civilian life? It's so much worse in the military. We think justice is hard to come by in society? You've got basically .01% (That's probably not statistically accurate, but I'd bet it's pretty close) chance of justice if you're a victim of military sexual assault.

So one of my best friends is going into air force officer training this summer. She's like a badass feminist unicorn goddess, she's so awesome. And good for her-it pays well, they're taking on her school loans, she gets to travel, it's cool beans. But is it worth it? Is serving your country worth it when in all likelihood a brother-in-arms may get to serve himself of you, and nothing will be done about it? Why are we treating our soldiers like this? Our soldiers deserve nothing less than the best, but we're telling the nearly 100,000+ rape victims that they're not worth fighting for. I'm disgusted by it.

Here's the thing - I'm a rape victim. Many of my friends are rape victims. In all likelihood, yours are too. And by telling us that what happened to us was our fault, by ignoring us, by not giving us the rights and justice and help and support that we desperately need and deserve, is only re-victimizing us again and again.

So yea, I insulted the military system. How dare I! We must defend the sanctity of our military! Well guess what, I'm pretty sure the military can defend itself against little ol' me with the guns and tanks and shit it has at its disposal. But insult a rape victim by depriving her of the insurance she needs just to fix her jaw that was dislocated during the assault and then promoting her rapist? No biggie guys.

Feminist Friday: Women's History Month

Barack Obama has proclaimed March as Women's History Month.

Kay. Awesome. I'm totally all for this. Women are mysteriously missing from 97.246% (I just made that up) of our history books. It's time we recognize women for their accomplishments.

Except, without any actual change or progress, Women's History Month will continue to be a punchline to a bad joke.  In the whole proclamation, he fails to mention reproductive rights, which is KIND OF A BIG DEAL. I therefore refer you to Shakesville, who points out that every year the Obama does this.

I mean, yea it's cool, Women's History month should be in existence. And yea, I'm kind of in love with Obama and really respect him. But our president can't just be the lesser of two evils (which is he, fo sho). I agree with Obama most of the time, but jeez, man, come on. Throw us a bone. Maybe mention 2nd wave feminism and the birth control movement-you know, the one that gave us back some power over our reproductive systems.

Call feminists a broken record, but it would be nice to have some official recognition of our fight for control over our bodies. Especially since this week Arkansas has joined the club of 7 other states and banned abortion after 20 weeks.

So in conclusion:
Yay Women's History Month!

Boo restricting my rights to my own body!

Feminist Friday: How people react to feminism, Part II

Back by overwhelming popularity, and because I think I'm really funny.

When someone tries to tell me we live in a post-racial, post-feminist society.

Watching Republicans on TV.

When my friends are mad at me cus we're out at the bar and I start talking about feminism and scare all the men away.

 When someone suggests the War on Women is being waged by feminists.

 When one of my friends tries to defend Chris Brown.

Feminist Friday: How people react to feminism

So I got an idea to make gif reactions of when I talk to people about feminism. It wasn't totally my idea. I was cruisin' the Hollaback DSM webpage and discovered Becca's Holladay Gifs, and I realized how accurate those were, and how many times stuff like that happened to me, especially when I talk about feminism. So ladies and gentlemen, here you go.

How people react when I bring up feminism, as told by gifs:

When I hear another Republican politician mansplaining to be about how my body works.

When someone tries to tell me how "friendzoned" they are and deserve sex.

When I get catcalled in pasta aisle at the grocery store:

Trying to change the perception of feminism in popular culture:

Trying to find a redeeming quality in Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann:

But finally, I'm just like:

Society's perception of feminists:

My future, most likely:

Feminist Friday: Responding to Sexual Assault

(Trigger Warning!)

A few weeks ago, there was a Thought Catalog article (yes, another one) titled "What if We Responded to Sexual Assault By Limiting Men's Freedom Like We Limit Women's?" Indeed...how would we respond? Reading the article and thinking about it I was reminded of a few analogies:

Here's a favorite of mine:

Let’s imagine a world in which women cut men’s dicks off. Like, frequently. To the extent that one in five men has had his dick cut off by a woman or had a woman attempt to cut his dick off.

Sometimes it’s a clear-cut case where a woman attacks you in the street, out of nowhere, and cuts your dick off. But more often it’s a situation where you actually know the woman, maybe you trust her, maybe you think everything’s okay, and then one day she cuts your dick off.

Okay, now let’s also say that the shame and guilt around having your dick cut off is so strong that many dick-cuttings go completely unreported. After all, someone is likely to raise the question of whether or not you were “asking for it” in one way or another. And if you do accuse a woman of cutting your dick off, you can expect to see people (quite naturally) rally to her defense and slander your character in response.

You can expect to see her friends … who are maybe also friends or yours … shrug their shoulders and say “Well, I don’t know, it’s complicated … it sounds like something was just happening between the two of them and maybe it got out of hand. I dunno. But I know that Sarah’s not a bad gal. I know she would never, like, MALICIOUSLY cut a dude’s dick off.”

Now imagine every time it says "cut a man's dick off" replace it with "rape" and you'll see why I get really pissed off when people don't take sexual assault seriously.

Finally, some Rape Prevention Tips (for men!):

Feminist Friday meets Thought Catalog

This is an excerpt from Lucy Tiven's "I Am Digging Up the Desecrated Corpse of Feminism." I started reading the article, and I liked it, and I could really relate to it. But then I got to the end, when Tiven goes on a badass feminist rant and she puts it so eloquently. I'm asked sometimes (thought, usually not outright) why I'm so feminist.  The thing is, I don't see how I could live with myself morally, if I wasn't. My feminist beliefs are my human beliefs, my moral, spiritual beliefs.

I am a human but I am also a feminist. I am a feminist because not being a feminist is not merely a circumstantial choice or preference: it is a moral flaw. I know this now. I don’t listen to riot grrl music or practice particularly esoteric sexual behavior. I wear dresses everyday and am compelled to learn how to dance. I try to feel pretty almost all of the time, and part of me always believes that if I lose fifteen pounds I will be, not only a more beautiful, but also a happier person.

But that isn’t everything. I am damn smart and I am pursuing noble purposes: not merely through my actions, but through the use of language. And I refuse to be relegated to an object, sexual conquest or measured in the terms of a gendered stereotype.

I will humbly accept being told to cross my legs and embarrassingly hide my slip if it is showing, but I will not be told when I can speak for myself or accept being scared off by the implication of a physical threat. If you want to call me a cunt or a slut, a little girl or anything else, go ahead, but don’t tell me when or how I am allowed to respond.

If you want to “put me in my place,” let me save you the trouble. I know I am a young woman. I know exactly whom I have and haven’t slept with. I know how much money my parents make and every house I have lived. I know each of the countless experiences and pains that have shaped me, and I am always moving through and between them. You can clumsily try to pin me down with a word or a cluster concept and watch as I slip through it.

I am not the kind of thing to be placed. I am not a screw or a lost part or a volume to categorize and shelve. I am a feminist, but I am more than that. I am no less or other than a human subject: this mind and the strange vessel of the body that houses it.

Feminist Friday: Roe Turns 40

Happy birthday Roe, and may you live another 40 years and beyond.

Via the Guttenmacher Institute

Via the Guttenmacher Institute

Feminist Friday: Why do we need feminism?

I can’t answer that for you. Go out and learn it.

Go into the city with a female friend. Walk 20 feet behind her and listen.

Make an account on a social site. Use a female name and photo. Post something, anything.

Go to a Take Back The Night march. Listen to the survivors speak out afterwards.
Set a timer on your phone or watch for two minutes. When the alarm goes off, another woman in the United States has been sexually assaulted.

Make an account on a dating site as a woman. Check your messages.

Take a walk through a toy store. Look at which toys are “meant” for boys and which are “meant” for girls.

Hang out with six of your female friends. Statistically, one of them has been raped. The chance that her rapist served any jail time for it is 3%.

Watch a movie. Almost any movie will do. Who’s the hero? Who gets saved? Who speaks the most?

Listen to other guys insult each other when they REALLY want to put each other down. “Pussy.” “Bitch.” “Sissy.” The worst thing for a man to be is like a woman.

But most importantly, read. Read bell hooks, read Jessica Valenti, read Amanda Marcotte, read Gail Collins, read Julia Serano. Read blogs and essays. Read literature written by women. I bet they didn’t assign you much of that in high school English class.

If I had unlimited time and energy to debate with you and patiently explain Why You Should Care About Feminism and counter each of your points with all the books and articles I’ve read, believe me, I would. But I don’t.

So go out and learn.

**Can't find the source for this - it's just floating around tumblr right now. 

Feminist Friday

My first Feminist Friday. Oh, where to begin....

Sociology Sheep just gets me. It just does.